Sometimes i go thru live worrying if ppl would remember me some years down the road.. but today i feel rather bad cuz i possibly missed a big milestone in my life.. due to my selfish reasons.. =(
Lana asked if i would do her the honours of making a 21st speech for her birthday, and i'm honestly surprised that she would ask me of all people to make it..
in all honesty, it would be a great pleasure for me to have this honour.. even more so if she held me in such high regard.. it is a pity i've made appointments prior to this date already Dd:
still.. i feel like i owe her a speech, as well as a birthday wish of sorts..
I first met Alanna during a lasertag skirmish back in 2009.. she was a cheerful bubbly girl who was really friendly and easy to talk to.. and i wish i had asked for her number earlier..
it would be another year after that before i got to meet her again, this time i got to see more sides of her, than an attractive girl wielding laser guns..
from her actions, you can tell that she's a sweet girl. i got to sample her baking skills during an NSA beach outing.. stuff she made and brought all the way from home no doubt several bus and train trips away from coogee..
have i mentioned she is a powerhouse at singing too?? all those hours spent at karaoke with her just proves that i saw that right.. together with her, we took first place in a duets category..
she can be a little absent minded at times, but that adds to her charm.. it makes me jealous that Usyd ppl would be having her company more than me..
so Alanna, happy 21st.. the adult world is a tough one.. but it is one i know you'll work through
thank you.
Well, some of you have read my list for things to do differently in 2011.. now's time for the little review, and plans for 2012!! Things that worked! Do something EPIC!!: Hell yeah!! I got to the finals of 2 karaoke comps! (even when the rules said I could only make it thru to one).. EPIC WIN MUCH??! ;DD Plan some Awesome AnimeUNSW club events: Could have been better over the year, but at least it ended pretty well with the AUNSW CHRISTMAS PARTY!! =D (thnx to all who helped out! ^^) Pick up another "Useless" hobby: Drum-mania! (well, not entirely useless.. but hey! new arcade talent! =D ) Things that didn't Learn a New Language: FAILED... D: Start studying EARLIER: DOUBLE FAILED!! D: Be Sporty at least once a week: Haha... hahahaha... ha.. > Well.. 3 out of 6 ain't too bad right? =P Now off with the old, and In with the NEW!! =============================================== NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS FOR 2012!! =============================================== Since I'm now the Events director, the 2 main things that needs to be done are: For the Club PLAN AWESOME EVENTS (in advance): I think this was the biggest fault on my part last year, that we had good ideas, but insufficient time to manage them (damn you engineering!!) still.. I'm looking forward to a new year of better stuff hopefully =D Make the club self-sufficient: Considering that I would be doing tougher stuff for engineering soon, i might have to limit my involvement eventually.. =( but not before I make sure the next year would be just as great.. For Epic Win!: Make Youtube Covers/Music Videos!: Since I decided to spend $$ on a xmas sale to get this portable voice recorder thingy.. I might as well put it to good use right? =D Learn/memorise more KARAOKE PERFORMANCE PIECES!: Given the time I spent learning 2 songs for the karaoke comp last year, I should probably start now to increase my repetoire (and maybe clinch another win! =D ) FINISH THAT DAMN COSPLAY!!: Yes, I have a few cosplay plans lying around, but a lack of motivation to finish them.. maybe I really should.. > For Self Improvement: Stop being so shy: Ironically, I think I need to get out there and talk more =O Learn that Instrument!: Well, at least improve on it.. don't get stuck there.. D: Stop swearing so much: Yes, I'm planning for a occupation at sea, so i should swearing like a sailor.. For PONY!! Become Vegan once/twice a week?: Cuz I realised I've been eating junk quite a bit.. and there are days where I really should get some proper fruits/veggies.. > Lose 1kg/month till return to sg: IAN FUN J C!! WE ARE NOW FRIENDS.. BUT ENEMIES.. LIKE FRIENEMIES.. So yes, 10 resolutions for 2012.. Hope there's better odds this time =)
Isn't it funny how much people can change since you last knew them?People like.. from high school? or your drama club?yea.. sometimes you stumble upon an article with someone you know in them..and find out they were the runner up for a beauty pageant =OO
Guess who managed to get to the finals in a karaoke competition?? =DDHahaha.. it was quite a fluke in my opinion.. and to be honest, there's so much more I should have practiced too along the way.. but hey.. a win is a win right? (or in this case.. 2 wins.. ^^ )wahahahaha... but I'm not really sure what to think about this.. by right, the rules stated that that i shouldn't have been able to get to the finals for 2 categories.. but I did.. which i guess would make me the 1st ever person to pull it off at smash! =Olike my other win at a cosplay convention.. it kinda does feel like a snatch and run.. kekeke.. 
but pfft.. who cares.. I got like, $100 worth of prizes from that.. it kinda helped cover up for the $220 i could have gotten had I decided to skip smash by taking a later flight due to the whole plane hold-up thing on Quantas.. =)
You know.. its funny talking to someone you knew from ages ago.. Esp if its someone you used to like..
Things are very different now from how they were back then.. like how i would have killed to have an opportunity to talk to her the way I just talked to her just now..
She was probably my 1st crush.. at a time where you were just learning how having a crush is all about.. a time where they were all you could think about.. and all you'd be hoping for..
Its funny how my heart throbbed a little.. throughout the whole time.. but strangely i felt nothing else.. no strong longing to be together like i used to.. none of that awkwardness in sharing my thoughts with her..
She was probably the one who started it all.. the big change for me to turn into the person I am today.. by the time I realised she and I weren't going to get together the way I was back then.. I decided to embark on a journey to become the kind of guy girls would regret not trying..
How successful was it? I don't really know.. I don't really remember much about how I was before.. except for the good things i bothered to write down..
how does she think of me now I wonder? how does she feel that I used to like her?
Well, I don't know.. but all I can do is wish her all the best in facing the things she's facing now.. I've changed for the better after meeting her.. I can only hope I can repay the favour..
I know its not much of an impact.. But I think the world needs some change..
Are the problems of the world finite? or infinite? either ways.. i don't think it matters.. What matters is the rate at which we can solve them..
Each generation comes with its own problems.. as well as its own solutions.. The generations before us have tried their best.. and now their wills would be inherited by us.. the current generation..
Yes.. it seems unfair that it'd seem they're dumping all their unsolved problems to us.. Pollution.. Diseases.. Social Ills.. etc etc.. but you can't deny that they've done well to solve similar dilemmas of the generations before them.. such as medical breakthroughs.. Initiating Gender equality.. the internet etc.. In our hands is the tools that could really bring progress to the human race..
undoubtedly.. we would also be leaving our unsolved problems to our future generation one day.. in the hopes that they too would help us find the answer..
This might be just a stab in the dark.. but i think one of the biggest probs we can try tackling now.. is that of discrimination.. and general hate..
no one is both perfect.. and putting people down based on their looks/religion/circle of friends, is just plain wrong.. there has to be an end for this somewhere.. and I feel we shld start looking for it now..
Is it that hard to accept another person for who they are? is it that hard to show some grace and forgiveness when they falter?
I believe none of us have gone through our lives without making a single mistake.. and even if we did, that'd be a mistake in itself.. don't cover them up.. proclaim them.. that you're proud you made it, such that others won't have to make it again..
To be honest.. I'm not even sure where I'm going with this post.. But, I feel it was started with kind intentions.. and that thoughts that are deeply rooted with kind intentions.. would find their fruits someday..
Hahaha.. I just received an email from.. (wait for it..) MYSELF.. which i written while I was really down and depressed earlier last year on Tuesday, May 4, 2010.. (OMG.. its 2011 already? =O) Labels: new year email futureme.org
funny thing is.. I'm still kinda affected by the same thing that happened back then.. but reading the words i wrote back then.. it gives me hope that good things would be coming my way.. it almost feels like they're words that came from someone wiser and more experienced.. when in fact, its just me at a different point in time.. xP
I guess we actually can help solve our own problems this way.. if viewed from a 3rd person's perspective..
but anyways.. just wanted to say a special thanks to Amanda, who helped me think of this idea.. and helping me out while i was in the dumps earlier last year.. Rachel, who's been helping me recently and listening to my problems.. Jessica, who brings little bits of joy and laughter into my life.. YuLin, for supporting me even though our views on things can be conflicting.. and whoever else reads my blog.. no matter how dusty it's become.. xP
Without further ado, the email which I wrote for my new year.. =)
Happy New Year everybody!!
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Life is short.. as lives that walks this earth come and go.. What mark to they leave behind that they once existed before us?
Its true that people change.. that nothing is eternal.. that one day I might forget the person i used to be in the past..
but at this point.. where they say the decisions you make would define who you become in future.. I still wish for a way to remember the things that makes me.. me..
How this would work.. Life doesn't have a save/load function.. But the best i can think of is sending a letter to the person I'd be, somewhere down life's path.. a letter containing all the hopes and ideals i hope to preserve..
Let anyone who reads this be a witness.. as I would be a witness to anyone who'd wish to use this idea too..
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So to the future Gabriel.. if you're reading this (no.. i don't think I'm dead yet.. =X ), I hope it'd be in happier times..
You may not been blessed with the blood of an angel.. but you have the blood of a Hero running through you.. Let it inspire you.. lead you on undauntedly.. along with anyone else you meet along the way.. It can be your beacon whenever the road seems dark..
The world tells you to pick your battles.. but sometimes we can't choose to not fight a battle.. we can't choose to run, just because its unlikely we'd win.. Sometimes a man, needs to be a man.. and do manly things..
Thus said.. I won't run.. here I stand at another crossroad in life.. unsure of my footing.. struggling against a nameless foe.. Hoping that I can survive through it all..
But such is life.. It is a battle i cannot avoid, and i do so praying that someday you'd see the light i was fighting towards..
Don't be afraid to try new experiences..
Fight hard for what you want.. The world is yours for the taking.. New possibilities are just out there waiting to be discovered by someone with the right heart for it..
Cliche as it may sound.. Out of the many art pieces I may make.. paint or craft with these 2 hands.. nothing even compares to the beauty that is you.. Continue to keep that nice heart and thots of yours.. Continue carrying yourself as a gentlemen.. Continue to walk on happily..
And maybe someday, it'd all make sense.. The reason behind our existence..
Till then.. keep pressing on..
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girls here can be rather... How do I put it? Brave? On my way out of the house, I met this girl who was about to brave the rain to get to the randwick busstop.. For those who are wondering, that's quite a distance! And she gonna get drenched head to toe by the time she gets there..
Naturally, I couldn't leave a girl like that after seeing that.. So I ran up to her with my umbrella and a casual "where are you headed?"
Smooth huh? ^^
But Yea.. I'm quite surprised by the culture here.. I find it rather attractive actually.. That even the girls here can be quite assertive.. (i think that's the right word?)
interestingly.. Our conversation steered from simple introductions to Anime.. Though I feel it was kinda her taking the lead.. Hehe.. I still got a way to go I guess.. =S
Sam, from a certain sydney girls high school..
She was pretty cute too... =)
Can I just say something?...Bakuman is an AWESOME anime~!!
I'm sure many of us had this idea when we were into anime as kids.. to grow up and become a manga artist or animator etc etc..I had that same dream too.. to write captivating stories, and turn them into pieces of art...I wonder where it all went though..Maybe this hols.. I'd try picking it up again.. to see if it goes anywhere.. =)But in the meantime.. if you're reading this, go give Bakuman a try.. the synopsis can be found here.. =)
Seems like I've been helping some ppl with their "relationship" issues recently.. which is funny.. cuz I can't say that I'm without my own.. =Pbut it does remind me of a time when I was in a similar situation.. I guess after hearing so much.. you can't say that guy or girls have it any easier than the other.. while girls might be thinking being a guy is so simple.. you get to pick your choice of girls amongst the flowers.. that logic is ultimately flawed.. while there's a small population of guys who are actually able to do that (ya know... maybe the prettier ones who know their way with words..), there's a much bigger portion of guys who's wishing for a world where girls would fight with each other to dance with them.. not forgetting that guys generally are the ones bearing the higher % of rejections..That said.. guys can't really complain that girls have it any easier.. there's societal norms that forbid them from being as open as they want to be (at least from how i see it..).. as well as the many shy moments/insecurities that a guy faces.. probably in larger proportions.. why do girls put on make-up or dress up prettily? isn't it partly because they're chasing a guy's perception of what's beautiful.. so they can find some sort of measure of their self worth?Ultimately.. they face the same problem as guys.. wondering what does it take to make that someone look our way..it seems like a vicious cycle of insecurities.. you're looking for someone whom you can be open about and share these things with.. but while trying to find them, you 1st have to hide it until the point where they've accepted you..so what's the point I'm trying to make?I'm not sure either.. =X I guess i'm thinking it might be a better world if we could all be a bit more honest about ourselves.. about who we like.. who we can't live without.. who we'd like to get to know better.. and.. who we know would love us back the same.. =)funny how sometimes you seem able to solve everyone's else's problems.. but not your own?it got me thinking.. that if you're telepathic, and could read other people's thoughts.. would that make you the smartest person in the world since you know what everyone's thinking?I guess not.. because these thoughts came from another person.. however.. if you could build on top of these thoughts you've compiled together...hmmmm...I wonder if something amazing could happen..