Sunday, March 25, 2007

NS..

in the period of 3 months, i've started to learn a bit about myself..

one thing is, the acceptance that i do have a darker side to me =X its the same side that pushes me on to do certain things.. when ppl ask me how i survived the 24km despite the bad weather and horrible rashes i developed half-way.. i could only truthfully say.. seeing each person that fell out during the march, was my motivation to press harder.. knowing it was a tough challenge wasn't enough.. i needed to know that there were people that couldn't take the challenge, for me to rise to the occasion, and force myself on.. and make sure i wasn't associated with this group of people..

kinda a dark motivation isn't it? =S

makes me wonder if i can truly trust myself to turn out the way i want to be.. through my own effort..

which makes me worry about relationships.. i do know i seriously desire a relationship.. but at the same time.. i don't want it to be for my own selfish reasons.. i admit.. my last relationship failed partly as a result of this.. amongst other reasons.. can i truly convince myself that i'd hold true to my values?

i am weak.. my existance is a conflict of both selfless and selfish desires.. wouldn't it be so much easier if i was solely either one? and yet.. even thinking this thought alone reinforces what i just said.. i am weak, for i desire an easy alternative out of the circumstances i'm in..

teach me to be strong.. i don't wish to be aimlessly forgotten by the world as one who didn't make it.. history remembers not those who succumb.. but rather tales of those heroes who succeeded.. there must be a stage on this world, that i can truly belong to.. that i can shine my brightest and excel infinitely..

i wonder if my university application would bring me to that stage..

i wonder.. and wonder still...

And i still remember... (3/25/2007 01:02:00 am)


Would you remember..
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Hark

Welcome to my little world
Meow...




The Angel

=Gabrylo= di Artificer
(21)
10days before Xmas
B.Engineering/Commerce
Artist, Actor and Entertainer
Gentlemenly Knight


Prayer

I bruise easily..


Comfort & Hope

Aidah creepy-crawlie
Alekxsandria hinoki
Anna/QuhynAhn myqueen =)
Adelyn the twin =)
Amberlyn the twin =)
Bi Ying =P
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Eleanor
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Jasmine - BlackMeteor
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Natasha
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  vampire TianYi ^_^
 anime-phobic Vanessa!
Yanni
YaRong vampy-melon coconut ^^
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YuSu
ZhiMing.Jp

Whims & Fancies

cute accessories =P
Online shirts Spree!
Custom designed shoes!

My friendster
Cube Simulator!
my old blog
Imeem music


Testaments

May 2006
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December 2006
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Adorations

My frens
My PSP
Rubiks Cube!
Anime!
Swimming
NeoPrints ^-^v
calbee SEAWEED CHIPS =D
Art.. its my nick too ;)
Piano/Guitar though i'm nt gd at it ='(
Bball (haven't played awhile =P)

Scorn

Indecisive ppl
Insensitive ppl
Shallow ppl

WISHINGS

Nat Bedding's albums
A degree in Business
portable DVD Player
More PSP titles!
PSP Camera!!
larger mem-card 4 PSP
Fashion Stuff
Cosplay stuff (on hold)
Juggling Balls..
a 5x5 cube =D
ORD!
Invites to parties
Her
you to click this ^^


Lvl-up skills

Rubiks cube
Professional Manga drawing
Bowling
Pool
Dance
Violin/flute
Jap/Latin
Water sports
Rock-climbing


To do list

Family outing with twinies!
re-Family outing xD
Shopping with Eileen
Steffi-planned fun! =D
Visit anime house
Eileen's performance
Stock up at Wernies! xP
Makino's treat =X
My shoes from Clara!!
Meet TianYi + Yanni
Cindy and Pizza!!
Ddr with Kevin/Jovi =D

LAYOUT INFO

Layout features:
L and Misa Amane of Death Note.

CREDITS

Layout: BENIHIME
Pictures: DEATHGOD.ORG
Textures: SAWYOUCRY
Brushes: MISSM